Hygiene Horror
Your failure to wash
Makes me see you and your hands
In a whole new light.
Note to the next stall over
Potty Etiquette
Suggests you end your cell call
Before you pee.
Disappointment Strikes
Disappointment strikes
Deep in the heart of she who
Finds the roll deplete.
My favorite of these has to be one inspired by the woman in the gym locker room who was yakking to her friend, having one of those pointless conversations: "Oh, what am I doing? I'm getting ready to work out. What are doing?" And so on ...
ReplyDeleteWhen she actually took the phone into the toilet and continued talking throughout her urination, I really wanted to yell "GUESS WHAT SHE'S DOING NOW??!!??" loud enough for the other party to hear, but I was afraid I would get in trouble with gym management, so I resisted the urge.
The handwashing thing crosses the line from impolite to gross, though. I still shudder when I remember watching this otherwise lovely-seeming woman leave the church ladies' room without so much as a backward glance at the sinks. To this day I refuse to eat the things she brings to potluck suppers, and I won't let my children eat them, either.
My husband can make his own decisions, but I will say when I told him this story, he came back with one about a guy - a prominent local politician, actually - who once carried on a conversation with him, at the urinal, while also ... wait for it! ... eating a sandwich. Kahuna reports Mr. Gladhand, still munching his roast beef on rye, went straight back out to mingle with his admiring constituents. Without washing his hands, of course.
Kahuna won that round.
What about you, Gentle Readers? Any stories - or haiku? - inspired by this topic to share?
Ewww...I HATE listening to people on their cell phones in the bathroom! I love it when they say things like, "You don't mind if I keep talking while I pee?" Shouldn't they ask ME that?!?
ReplyDeleteI love these! Some of your other posts are even funnier. Thank you for the smile.
ReplyDeletehahaha this is awesome
ReplyDeleteMamaku, please know that the next time we shake hands, I will be prepared and washed... as always.
ReplyDeletepeanuts at the bar
ReplyDeleteeating them is risky biz
not all wash their hands
Excellent comments on life
ReplyDeleteI'd kiss my cat, sure...
ReplyDeletebut, shake your hand? No, sorry!
Why? She baths often.
I sit on wet seat
ReplyDeleteTell myself it is water
Who am I kidding?