Bored witless by enforced bed rest and a very sore knee, I have turned to the resources at hand and invented a new party game:
NAME THAT PAIN MEDICATION
Play along with me.
Thanks (or not) to my various surgeries and a familial fondness for activities that land us in the emergency room (cliff kayaking, anyone??), Mama's seen a lot of prescription meds cross our insurance bill. Looking at my latest (OxyHyDroDineTinSet(TM))from this Monday's knee operation, it occurred to me that pain medications all have remarkably predictable names ... causing one to imagine that corporate drug companies must brand their products the same way American government names military operations ... by just mixing up a bunch of pre-determined adjectives and nouns until someone in the room yells:
"Hey! Operation Monstrous Jungle ThunderCloud! Now THAT sounds really intimidating! Let's move the troops!"
So I riddled my memory for all the names on little orange plastic jars I've seen over the years and came up with sets of first, second, and third syllables that can be mixed and matched at will. (See the haiku above.)
And guess what!?!
The results are, hilariously or disturbingly (depending on your point of view) pretty darn close to what can be found in the PDR. (That stands for Physicians Desk Reference, for those of you who don't live in a family of hypochondraics and have this esteemed reference volume as an app on their iPhones.)
So go ahead, give it a try. Play "Name That Painkiller" - Just remember that
1) I thought of it first so if this game catches on and makes money; it's mine;
and
2) it can be hazardous to drive or operate machinery while playing under the influence.
Yours, MamaKu
PS: I think we can all take the fact that I am bored witless as a good sign that I am healing well and on my way back to life as a functioning wife, parent, friend and co-worker. (If the 27 messages in my in-box are any indication, The Boss is exteremely eager for this transition to occur ... probably even more so than my husband and children, who kind of like the rule of pizza-and-TV around here.)
Bored witless by enforced bed rest and a very sore knee, I have turned to the resources at hand and invented a new party game:
ReplyDeleteNAME THAT PAIN MEDICATION
Play along with me.
Thanks (or not) to my various surgeries and a familial fondness for activities that land us in the emergency room (cliff kayaking, anyone??), Mama's seen a lot of prescription meds cross our insurance bill. Looking at my latest (OxyHyDroDineTinSet(TM))from this Monday's knee operation, it occurred to me that pain medications all have remarkably predictable names ... causing one to imagine that corporate drug companies must brand their products the same way American government names military operations ... by just mixing up a bunch of pre-determined adjectives and nouns until someone in the room yells:
"Hey! Operation Monstrous Jungle ThunderCloud! Now THAT sounds really intimidating! Let's move the troops!"
So I riddled my memory for all the names on little orange plastic jars I've seen over the years and came up with sets of first, second, and third syllables that can be mixed and matched at will. (See the haiku above.)
And guess what!?!
The results are, hilariously or disturbingly (depending on your point of view) pretty darn close to what can be found in the PDR. (That stands for Physicians Desk Reference, for those of you who don't live in a family of hypochondraics and have this esteemed reference volume as an app on their iPhones.)
So go ahead, give it a try. Play "Name That Painkiller" - Just remember that
1) I thought of it first so if this game catches on and makes money; it's mine;
and
2) it can be hazardous to drive or operate machinery while playing under the influence.
Yours, MamaKu
PS: I think we can all take the fact that I am bored witless as a good sign that I am healing well and on my way back to life as a functioning wife, parent, friend and co-worker. (If the 27 messages in my in-box are any indication, The Boss is exteremely eager for this transition to occur ... probably even more so than my husband and children, who kind of like the rule of pizza-and-TV around here.)