Sick Kid Poker

I'll see your meeting;
raise one overdue report.
It will work ... somehow.


The game always starts in the middle of the night, when our bed is invaded by someone who either has a fever or wants to barf. After taking the usual precautions - hugs, cool water, Tylenol and/or big bowl in case she suddenly starts vomiting all over the place - The Big Kahuna and I snuggle her back down and turn to one another ... it's time for Sick Kid Poker.


You working parents know exactly how the game is played. Your child is ill; you can't send her to school, but you also both have jobs that - peskily enough - require your presence and attention. Sometimes, if the child in question only has a mild case of the sniffles, you can bring her into the office and park her in the corner with some Kleenex, a box of colored markers, and the contents of your recycling bin. At the end of the day she'll have had an adventure and your entire office will be covered with cute kid art. When she's truly sick, however, she needs to stay home, in bed, and be treated with lots of parental TLC. Which means one of you has to stay home from work the next day.


The question is: which one of you can more easily afford a day away from the job? In this economy, with so many people laid off and those of us who are left standing struggling to fill their shoes as well as our own, that's never an easy call. That's where Sick Kid Poker comes in.


Kahuna has more letters after his name than I do, and much more public and prominent position, so he usually opens with something showy and superficially impressive, like:


"I've got a 10:30 with a newly elected member of the State Assembly;"


But I'm no slouch either. Narrowing my eyes, I counter with the information that I'm working on a major publication. Under deadline.


So he says: "Budget meeting this afternoon," reminding me that people's lives and livelihoods are in his hands.

However, I can play that game, too. "Grant proposal due Monday."


"IEP meeting."


"Conference call."


... and so on and on we go as the clock ticks steadily toward dawn, listing all of the things we both absolutely have to do the following day, until, finally, one of us concedes the other holds the upper hand. One of the many things I love about our marriage is that the winner is not always the one who makes the higher salary or holds the more "important" job. Both of us believe that being good parents is our most important obligation, followed closely by being responsible and effective employees. Playing Sick Kid Poker actually helps us decide, on any given day, the most reasonable and productive compromise. Sometimes (thank you, internet!) one of us can work from home. Other times, like today, we will literally tag-team parent, taking turns throughout the day being with our daughter and being in our places of work.

It's a tough game to play, and there are many times I wish our family could survive on one salary, just so we didn't have to spend so many nights this way. But, like I wrote, we are lucky to have jobs, to have each other ... and somehow we always make it work.