the man at the desk
said "i would prefer not to."
and sat there, quite still.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Caffeinated
Th-th-th-th-that
secondcupofcoffeewas
NOT A GOOD IDEA!
Apparently my tolerance for extra caffeine, like so many other things, is decreasing with age.
secondcupofcoffeewas
NOT A GOOD IDEA!
Apparently my tolerance for extra caffeine, like so many other things, is decreasing with age.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
The Downside to Multitasking
"Hello, Officer"
I mumble through the thick strips
Of tooth whitener.
OK, I know I am the first one to rail against distracted drivers, but Crest Whitestrips aren't distracting ... at least to me. And if not during the morning commute, when else is a working mother going to have thirty minutes free to spend with gluey pieces of plastic plastered to her teeth?
And no, I didn't get a ticket. I think he liked my smile.
I mumble through the thick strips
Of tooth whitener.
OK, I know I am the first one to rail against distracted drivers, but Crest Whitestrips aren't distracting ... at least to me. And if not during the morning commute, when else is a working mother going to have thirty minutes free to spend with gluey pieces of plastic plastered to her teeth?
And no, I didn't get a ticket. I think he liked my smile.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Wherein MamaKu Takes a Stand
"Guns Don't Kill People;
People Do." Just easier
for people with guns.
I think since I lost two people I love to a gun, I get to have this opinion.
People Do." Just easier
for people with guns.
I think since I lost two people I love to a gun, I get to have this opinion.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Why?
why do people wait
until january first
to fix what ails them?
Enough with the resolutions already. If you noticed your pants wouldn't button back in October, why did you wait three months to cut back on the calories and get some exercise? What stopped you from practicing more kindness last June? Maybe I have no appreciation for the symbolism of New Years - I just think we'd all be better off if we addressed our "issues" as they crop up.
until january first
to fix what ails them?
Enough with the resolutions already. If you noticed your pants wouldn't button back in October, why did you wait three months to cut back on the calories and get some exercise? What stopped you from practicing more kindness last June? Maybe I have no appreciation for the symbolism of New Years - I just think we'd all be better off if we addressed our "issues" as they crop up.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
On Applying Cosmetics Behind the Wheel
If undertakers
Exercise similar care
You will look good, dead.
Open memo to the woman who spent the entire commute this morning weaving around on the freeway in front of me because she was applying her makeup in the rearview mirror: I hope your survivors don't blame the poor schmuck who will inevitably rear-end you in the fast lane because you apparently need to take your foot off the gas pedal every time you dab at your lashes. I hope it doesn't hurt when the mascara wand impales your eyeball and plunges into your brain. I hope your apparent lack of a brain doesn't hurt anyone else. I hope ... oh, never mind.
Exercise similar care
You will look good, dead.
Open memo to the woman who spent the entire commute this morning weaving around on the freeway in front of me because she was applying her makeup in the rearview mirror: I hope your survivors don't blame the poor schmuck who will inevitably rear-end you in the fast lane because you apparently need to take your foot off the gas pedal every time you dab at your lashes. I hope it doesn't hurt when the mascara wand impales your eyeball and plunges into your brain. I hope your apparent lack of a brain doesn't hurt anyone else. I hope ... oh, never mind.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
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