Search This Blog

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Fashion Haiku

... nothing like the holidays to bring out questionable taste in clothing. Oy.


Older than forty?
Step away from the mini.
It is not for you.

What conspiracy
resulted in the advent
of Lycra "jeggings?"

Ugg boots, like gym clothes,
have a purpose and a place.
Not in public, please.

Yes, you may be "hot."
You should still put on more clothes
When it's cold outside.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

The Way to My Heart

The way to my heart
lies not in verse nor in song
but in chocolate.

Good chocolate. And lots of it.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Boxing Day

The Day in Between
Is a Very Good Day to
Buy Me Lots of Gifts!

Guess whose birthday is December 27??? Just guess!!!

Friday, December 24, 2010

Bad, Paul!

It is most unwise
to agree to sit a dog
with your husband's name.

It seemed like such an easy thing to do - add one more Golden Retriever to our menagerie for the holidays and give a couple of dear friends (who are expecting twins, no less!) the chance to travel home for one last Christmas without car seats and diaper bags. Except that this particular dog has the same name as my husband. And a penchant for inappropriate barking and grabbing food off the kitchen counter when he thinks we aren't looking. It's not really the occasional misbehavior that is the problem - I am a very good alpha pack member and know how to correct. It's just that when I do, my husband thinks I am correcting him. And this is not good for our marriage. With advance apologies to our friends, I am going to change their dog's name to "Steve." Just until the New Year. Because I really do love my husband ... Paul.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Internal Struggle

The garbage truck comes.
I did not take out the trash -
but my bed is warm.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

The Christmas Hamster

The Christmas Hamster.
There are those who don't believe;
I know it is real.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Too many pets

Fell over the dog
while I was carrying the cat,
Thus spilling the fish.

It's official; we have too many pets ... and did I mention I landed right on my knee? The one that just had surgery? Well, I did. And it really hurts.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

College Acceptance

When I was 18
It wasn't THAT big a deal.
Now it's *like* ALL that.

The good news is: my oldest just got into the one college he really wants to attend. The bad news: the application process was awful and angst-ridden, and he, frankly, just got lucky. A lot of his friends who are equally talented and hardworking etc. etc. received deferrals or outright rejections. I know competetive college admissions are these days ... I don't blame the schools ... but are we parents putting wayyyyyyy too much importance on where our kids do their undergrad? Do employers really even care where potential employees spent the years between 18 and 22, so long as they didn't post anything stupid on YouTube or Facebook? I don't know ....

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Farewell

Dear Ex-Favorite Blogger:
You hooked me with your great wit,
But your posts are stale.

It's happened: I've become one of those crazy people online who find a new blogger and just lovelovelove her so much I check EVERY SINGLE DAY to see what witty observations she has made. Then I write equally witty and pithy comments of my own telling her how great she is and how my every day is made brighter by her and her TOTALLY AWESOME blog. But NOW but it seems that she is now writing a book or raising a child or something and she doesn't have any more time to write for us, her loyal blogience. She hasn't posted anything new in * like* three days. So it's over. She won't have me to disappoint. I'm not going back to her sillystupid site ANY MORE. No more gushing comments from Mamaku for her. Never. Just watch!

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Christmas Gift Ideas

my email inbox
full of christmas gift ideas
from folks i don't know

Every retailer from whom I have ever purchased anything on line assumes 1) I celebrate the holidays 2) I have money to buy lots of presents 3) they know what my friends and family like. I don't know why, exactly, but that bugs me.